Mustard

Weaving a story is best with a straight face.

all parents know of the similarities between mustard and baby poop.

but

what my boys didn't know is that the reason why i dip my pretzels in horseradish mustard.

today, a conversation was started with jack proudly announces that he had green hair when he was born.

i countered with that may not be something he will want to be promoting in public.

after all, his green hair was account of him relieving himself before he made his way out. 

his brothers then started to make fun of him for that (which was funny).

then dad had an opportunity to amuse himself.

"there is nothing wrong with baby poop! in fact, thank you very much, as long as  you mother was breast feeding their poop actually looks just like mustard. (they all start laughing) settle down boys, why do think i dip pretzels in horseradish mustard. it is only because i use to dip my pretzels in your baby mustard poop. now that isn't possible so i had to find an alternative. hence the horseradish mustard.

i had two of the three boys going. 

the oldest has heard too many of these types of stories.

good times.

wife just shook her head.